Honest, steady support for neurodivergent couples and individuals who are done trying to fit a mold that was never made for them.
You don't need the right words, the right diagnosis, or the right story. You need a space that moves at the speed of your nervous system. 🌀
I'm Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#151788) in Pacific Grove, California, and the founder of Love on the Autism Spectrum. I've spent more than 40 years in a neurodiverse marriage, and I found out at 57 that I'm neurodivergent too. I know this work from the inside.
Twenty minutes, no pressure. We'll see together what kind of support fits.
Which of These Sounds Like Your Week?
Most people find their way here through one of three doors. Every one of them leads somewhere good.
The Two of You Keep Missing Each Other
You love each other. You keep having the same fight in different clothes, no matter how hard you both try.
The connection isn't missing. It has a different shape, and that shape can be learned.
Start with neurodiverse couples therapy.
You're the One Holding It All Together
You've been carrying the emotional weight of the relationship, and you're wondering if support could finally fit you, too.
You're not too much. You've just been carrying too much alone.
Start with therapy for neurotypical partners.
You're Just Now Understanding Your Wiring
Late-diagnosed or self-identified, you're craving clarity, self-trust, and support that honors how your brain and heart actually work.
You're not broken. You were just never given a map that fit.
Start with therapy for neurodivergent adults.
Therapy in California. Coaching Anywhere in the World.
Therapy is for people who live in California, because that's where I'm licensed. It's the place for trauma, mental health and the deeper layers of a relationship.
Coaching looks forward. You set the intentions, we build a plan around how your brain actually works, and it's open to you wherever you live.
Not sure which one fits? That's exactly what the free Zoom is for. 😊
With a Licensed Therapist
- 💞Couples TherapyNeurodiverse couples therapy for two people who want to understand each other's wiring, weekly or every other week.
- 🤝Partners of Neurodivergent AdultsTherapy for neurotypical partners: support for the partner carrying the weight, including Cassandra Syndrome, so your needs finally matter too.
- 🧠Therapy for Autistic & ADHD AdultsTherapy for neurodivergent adults: individual therapy for late-identified autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults: unmasking, identity and self-trust.
- 🌊In Person on the Monterey PeninsulaNeurodiverse couples therapy in Monterey, Carmel and Pacific Grove, with sessions in my Pacific Grove office by request.
- 🔎Adult AssessmentsAutism, ADHD and AuDHD testing for adults 18 and over, completed online.
Wherever You Live
- 🧭Coaching for Couples & IndividualsCoaching for neurodiverse couples and individuals, with a written roadmap built around your real week.
- 🔬The Love LabA neurodiverse couples group on Zoom: 3 to 4 couples, weekly for about three months.
- 🧳Balance & Bonding RetreatA private two-day neurodiverse couples retreat for one couple, virtual or in person.
- ⚖️Discernment CoachingDiscernment coaching in no more than five sessions for couples where one of you is leaning out and the other is leaning in.
Clear Answers About Your Own Wiring
Understanding how you're wired can change everything: your relationships, your work, and the way you see yourself. An assessment gives you language, validation and a foundation to build from.
Adults 18 and over in California, all online. The Diagnostic Summary report is $600, and Superbills come monthly. See how adult assessments work.
Growth That Circles Back Deeper
I created the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life from more than 40 years of lived experience and clinical practice. Most models of growth are a straight line. Neurodivergent growth isn't. It circles back, and returning to the same place at a deeper level is not going backward. It's how this kind of growth works.
The Spiral gives you a map: seven layers that help you see where you are, what's been holding you, and what the next layer of clarity and safety looks like. You can start at any layer.
- Safety & Believability
- Capacity & Signals
- Self-Understanding
- Supports, Habits & Environments
- Connection
- Living What Fits
- Beyond Achievement
- And around again, deeper
Company for the Drive, the Walk and the 11pm Kitchen
Real conversations for neurodivergent couples and individuals: grounded guidance, nervous-system-aware support, and honest talk from someone who truly gets it. No performance, no toxic positivity. Just clarity, care, and the occasional deep breath.
The Posts People Come Back To
There are more than a hundred articles on the neurodivergent relationships blog. If you're not sure where to begin, find the line below that sounds most like your week.
If you're starting to wonder about yourself
If you're the one holding it together
If the two of you keep missing each other
Hi, I'm Blaze
"I see you. I was you. I am you. And you are not alone…anymore."
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#151788), a neurodivergent couples specialist, and the founder of Love on the Autism Spectrum (she/her/they).
I work with neurodivergent couples and individuals who are tired of approaches that were never designed for how their minds and nervous systems actually function. I've been in a neurodiverse marriage for more than 40 years. I discovered my own neurodivergence at 57, and when the relief set in, it felt like coming home to myself for the first time.
I hold a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology from Sofia University, with advanced training in Autism, ADHD and Complex Trauma. I'm the creator of the Neurodivergent Spiral of Life and the author of Unmasked Self-Acceptance: 365 Days of Coming Home to Who You Really Are.
My work rests on one simple belief: neurodivergent love doesn't need to be fixed. It needs to be understood and intentionally designed.
- LMFT #151788
- MA Counseling Psychology · Sofia University
- Pacific Grove, California
- Creator · Neurodivergent Spiral of Life
- Author · Unmasked Self-Acceptance
Frequently Asked Questions
What does neurodivergent-affirming mean?
It means nobody here is treated as broken, deficient, or a project to be fixed. We work with how your brain and nervous system actually function instead of asking you to mask, perform or override them. Camera off, pacing, stimming and little eye contact are all welcome.
What's the difference between therapy and coaching here?
Therapy is for people who live in California, where I'm licensed, and it can include trauma, mental health and diagnosis. Coaching looks forward: your intentions, your plan, your next step. It's open worldwide, and it isn't therapy. If you're unsure which fits, we'll sort it out on the free Zoom.
Do I need a diagnosis to work with you?
No. Formally diagnosed, self-identified, or still wondering, you're welcome here. If you're an adult in California who wants answers, I also offer adult autism, ADHD and AuDHD assessments.
Do you work with individuals, or only couples?
Both. About 80% of my practice is couples, and I also see neurodivergent adults and partners on their own.
My partner won't come. Can I start on my own?
Yes. Plenty of people start on their own. When one person's side of the pattern changes, the pattern changes.
I've already tried couples therapy. Why would this be different?
Many couples I work with have already seen two to five therapists before finding the right fit. A lot of standard couples work teaches communication skills without addressing the nervous-system mismatch underneath. This work starts from neurodivergent reality, not neurotypical assumptions.
Do you work with people outside California?
Coaching, yes, anywhere in the world, and time zones haven't stopped anyone yet. Therapy and assessments are for people in California.
Can we meet in person?
Most sessions are online. Couples on the Monterey Peninsula can meet in my Pacific Grove office by request, and the Balance & Bonding Retreat can be virtual or in person.
Do you take insurance?
I don't bill insurance directly. For therapy and assessments, I provide a Superbill monthly that you can send to your insurer for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Coaching isn't covered by insurance.
How do I get started?
Book a FREE 20-minute "Clarity & Connection" Zoom session. We'll talk about what's happening and what kind of support fits. No forms, no pressure, no homework.
Let's Begin Your Next Chapter
Whether you're burnt out from holding it all, overwhelmed by disconnection, or simply ready for something that actually fits, you don't have to shrink, mask, or perform anymore. You get to feel safe, seen, and supported.
Take a breath. Settle in. I'm so glad you're here.
Not ready to talk yet? The free guide is a gentle place to start. Prefer email? See all the ways to reach me.